Or...
"My best friend was a Nazi war experiment."

N.O.G.L. - Non-OrGanic Lifeform. Created in occupied France during WW11 by
scientist Doktor Hertz van Rental as part of the Nazi war machine, programmed
to believe himself to be the last surviving rubbernorc, green skin, cloven hooves,
an almost insatiable thirst and just a little on the irritable side.

"Nog" - Still surviving, not so much wandering the planet as crawling between bars.
Habitually wasting time with his drinking partner "Chubb", he does not know or
care less about his true nature, he's a norc, he can handle that, sit down, have a drink,
just don't mess!

Rubbernorc and all related characters©Paul Eldridge 1990